Member-only story
Endorphins are a Luxury
Finding FLOE Part 18
They say exercise makes you happy, which is why my mother-in-law kept telling me I just needed to go outside and walk off my postpartum depression.
I wanted to, but since it wasn’t just postpartum depression it would be a good five years before a walk was actually refreshing.
It took until today for me to have exercise actually turn an apathetic, borderline depressive morning into an evening like I’m enjoying now, writing in bed because I want to—not because I’m desperately seeking a way to feel slightly productive.
In the first place, even with a sad start to the day I had enough spoons to let me even consider moving my body more than a little. I’ve heard that for people without chronic fatigue spending spoons on exercise is more than worth it because the exercise earns them more. For me it’s been break-even at best. Well, until today.
Today I counted my spoons and counted on a break-even. Yes, I sould spare the energy.
So the whole family went to the pool to play and let me get my body really moving.
Now, as the sun sets I’m exhausted.
But happy!
I feel my whole body, awake and alive, blood flowing, muscles aching, and I feel full instead of drained!
I can’t remember the last time I felt something like this, except perhaps at the end of a really good snuggle if you know what I mean.
This gives me hope that I’m entering a new season.
A season of healing.
Begin the journey toward finding FLOE with part one.
